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Boy, last week was a damn doozy, wasn't it? Truly the past two weeks for me personally. I have been ignoring my gut for almost a month. I've been attempting to push forward with things that I knew were no longer on my path. I'm stubborn, damn Capricorn
placements, I can't help it sometimes. But as I stood outside this morning, getting back to my earthing Qi Gong practice, I noticed my feet: one in shadow and one in light and it reminded me of everything this past week.
This will be a longer blog post, but one I feel y'all need to hear. I'll also be putting this as a Bodhiverse episode on my YouTube.
I knew months ago that traveling wasn't a priority this year. I knew there was
a shift, I knew that there was a massive shift back to a previous timeline, a previous path an
d that I needed to get with the program. Yet, I went ahead booking away anyway. Booked my year up more than I meant to originally and it seemed to continue to grow. At first, I was excited about the opportunities... and then it got too heavy. WAY TOO HEAVY.
The universe finally had to just sit me on my ass. No live access on either account for over a week. Then no power at my house and I was forced to stay at my shop where it was cool. I mean, I HAD just said that I needed to spend more time at the shop... so again, be careful what you manifest without clear boundaries, y'all.
Then June 17th, after I'd spoken that into existence, I bounced out for a date (I know, I know... y'all are surprised) with the knowledge in my gut that I didn't need to be out that night. The news had been saying that the weather was going to be BAD and I'd felt it in my gut all day. Plus, the trees were turning their leaves upside down in prepar
ation for the moisture... and it was hot and still. We headed to dinner and then to a movie, with me keeping watch on the weather the entire time. We also drove separate cars, which I usually don't do.
At the movies, we got there 45 minutes early. Then when it was finally time for the
show, the movie was all jacked up. It started about 10 minutes in, and then they stopped and restarted. I kept getting more and more uncomfortable. At about 1015pm I headed to pee (I drink way too much water), and checked the radar again to see that the storm that had been on the other side of OKC (about 2 hours by car) was now halfway to Tulsa. I tried not to panic. That is a severely fast-moving storm. To top it off, it was all purple inside. Again, not good.
Back at the seat, I told my date that we needed to leave and I'd spring for the tickets next time. I showed him the radar and said I can't be out driving in this. We quickly got to our cars and headed to our houses.
I made it about half a mile from my house and the sirens began to scream.
Instant panic for me. I just breathed, attempted to calmly wait at the light, behind slow cars, etc. I have been driving twice in my life and had to drive like a backwoods NASCAR driver to get ahead of a tornado. I do not recommend that. White knuckling it is an understatement in those times.
I made it home, pulled my car up as much as I could - because my garage is full of shit. And rushed up to the porch.
Then I paused - sirens blaring, wind picking up, rain starting to sprinkle.
I remembered the home protection system I had in each corner of my property. I stood on my porch and closed my eyes. I stretched my hands out to my sides, palms toward the concrete, and I just sent out a calm, bubble of protection around my property, my car, my dogs, myself, my kids, my family - everyone I loved.
Then I tore my ass inside and grabbed shit, my dogs, turned the TV on in my room where I could hear it, and shut us in the closet. About 5 minutes later, I lost power. I rode out the insane storm that hit Tulsa alone, in my closet with my two dogs. No power, listening to the pops and the cracks and the bangs outside. Listening to the wind absolutely tearing everything apart.
Once the storm was over, according to the radar, I attempted to sleep for the last few dark house in a quickly heating house. The next morning, I went outside and to my happiness, not a damn thing on my home, my car, etc was damaged. My lawn chairs were still there, untouched... hell, the bird seed was still in a standing feeder, wet but unmoved. My family was ok, kids ok, their homes were all ok... Tulsa however, was not.
In the aftermath of the week, I was forced to stay at the shop and was glad I had it to stay in. A heat wave has hit here hard and it's been nasty.
But I also had a lot of time to think. To work. To just be in my own space without social media and without the constant pressure of TikTok and lives. While I love them, they were eating away at my soul and taking time from my kids and myself. I had a massive amount of epiphanies last week about my path, myself, and everything around me. I was reminded who I am and who I have always been. I was "gently" shoved back to myself. I was also reminded that with all of the darkness last week - both physical and spiritual - I hadn't been seeing the dark. I'd only been looking to the light again. You cannot have the light without the shadow. Even as the light shines, the shadow is right next to it, and sometimes overlaying it. If you cannot appreciate the shadow and what the universe is telling you, then you deserve to be sat on your ass. I know I did.
Priorities have changed for me. I came home when the electricity
was turned back on Friday and erased my goals. I don't need what I had written down and was killing myself for. I wrote down only 3 new ones... instead of the 9 that were there.
"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life... and I'm feelin' good." - Michael Buble.